Before the storm
by SimplyCuteBambi
Summary: “ I was remind today in a sort of roundabout way”He said painfully “That the most perfect act of love is sacrifice” He met her gaze and swallowed thickly “But if what you want is for me to let go” He said his voice husky “Then I’ll do it” Bedward!


**An: **Hey guys! So I know I'm supposed to be working on my TDWC story now but I told my best friend I'd write her something for Bella and Edward since she's not an hsm fan so here it is……hope u like it chickity! The bold and italics part are both of them. The italics are just one of them depending on whose thinking what.

**Disclaimer: **I'm pretty sure I don't own them otherwise I wouldn't be here writing this….. logically

_I know this isnt what I wanted,  
never thought it'd come this far,_

Bella sighed as she plopped down on her bed. She really didn't think the test results would be that bad. In fact she was hoping for the best. But she should've known that life doesn't always work out the way you want. In fact sometimes it's worse than you what you think. The term hope for the best expect the worst should've applied to this situation. If only she had applied it.

She closed her eyes as she ran her hands through her tangled brown hair. It was a nervous habit she had picked up from her mum.

When she diagnosed with Leukemia a few months ago she was hoping that chemo and all that would make her better. In fact she was almost sure it had. She hadn't felt sick for a while. But then her hair started to fall which meant it was getting worse. She started feeling sick most of the time.

There were a lot of things Bella swan didn't expect to last. Surprisingly her relationship with Edward was one of them. He was absolutely perfect to her. The image of perfection.

The reason why she thought their relationship wouldn't last is simple really. She was an average Jane. A plain nobody. He was the most popular boy in school and now college. He was the captain of basketball. He was absolutely dazzling and he was a perfect gentleman.

In other words he was everything she had ever hoped for and dreamed of.

_just thinking back to where we started  
& how we lost all that we are_

She reopened her eyes tears running down her face at what she knew she had to do. She kicked off her shoes and stared at the door wanting more than anything to crawl under the covers of her bed and hide from the world.

She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose as she forced back the tears willing them back with all her might and surprisingly it worked.

As she stared at their room she smiled to herself as her eyes landed on one particular picture.

It was the picture of their senior prom.

It was at that moment that Bella knew without a doubt that Edward was the one. The one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The one she wanted to wake up to everyday.

Sadly she thought as her smiled turned into a frown things had changed. Or rather they had changed.

When they first came to college they had a room together and everything was perfect. They would spend every waking moment together. But then Edward became captain and everything changed.

It's not that he became ostentatious or anything on the contrary he was the same old modest Edward. He just didn't have that much time for her anymore. He had to work hard to keep his basketball scholarship.

And even though he tried everything in his power to balance the two sides of his life sometimes one side would topple and the other would win. More often than not it would be Bella who got the short end of the leash.

But she couldn't blame him. Not at all. He was going after his dream. And whatever he decided to do with his life she would be there for him.

Or at least that's what she had decided before the whole cancer ordeal.

I was about to tell him she thought her eyes glazing over again. But then he had gotten an amazing opportunity playing for the Red Hawks.

How could she possibly tell him and ruin his future?

She couldn't and she wouldn't either.

"Hey love sorry I'm late" She gave a little startled gasp at his appearance. She wasn't expecting him till much later.

A small smile tugged at her lips as she took in his appearance. He was wearing the college jersey and sweat pants. His hair was disheveled and sticking out in all places.

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly as he put his bag down and stared at her.

She bit her lip and fiddled with her fingers as she tried to find her voice. "Edward" She said but it came out as more of a squeak.

She cleared her throat nervously as she felt the bile rise to her throat. "We need to talk" She said quietly.

He looked startled for a moment at the seriousness in her tone but he sat down anyway.

"We're both going to be separated soon" She started thinking of how she had persuaded Edward to accept the offer from the Red hawks.

He nodded slowly not sure where the conversation was going. "I know we said we'd try to make it work and all….."She trailed off. She looked up and met his confused gaze. For a moment she got lost staring in his emerald green eyes. The eyes she loved so much and would give anything to gaze into.

She shifted her gaze abruptly when she realized that it wasn't helping her situation. Her eyes darted around the room trying to focus on anything but the Greek like god sitting in front of her.

Her eyes finally landed on a portrait right above his head and she stared at it while choosing her next words carefully.

She chewed on the inside of her lips as she finally sighed deeply "We-I can't do this" She said softly so softly he had to strain and lean forward to hear it.

"Do what?" he asked confusion written all over his face. She tore her eyes away from the portrait and stared at him willing him to understand and hoping she wouldn't have to say it out loud.

Realization dawned on his face as his suddenly easy going look was replaced with panic.

He sucked in a huge gulp of air as he choked on his words "Are you breaking up with me?"

She winced as he said the words out loud. She didn't want him to think that was what she was doing. She bit her lips harder as she fought back the tears once more.

"No not breaking up" She said softly refusing to meet his gaze "Jus taking some time apart" She said as calmly as possible although she felt her heart tear itself into pieces.

He just sat there immobile. His face not betraying any of his shock or pain. But all she had to do was take one look at his eyes and she cringed back at the immeasurable amount the suffering she saw.

He opened his mouth several times but each time he closed it. His eyes glazed over but he cleared his throat forcing the tears back much like she did a while ago.

" Are you sure?" He finally said his voice not giving away anything he felt.

She crossed and uncrossed her legs and thought about it. This is it she thought. You can take it all back say you didn't mean any of it. But he'd have to suffer.

She finally set on a small nod.

" Please let go" She said softly not hinting that she had a double meaning.

" I was remind today in a sort of roundabout way….."He said painfully "That the most perfect act of love is sacrifice" He said getting up as he stopped at their senior prom picture. He met her gaze and swallowed thickly "But if what you want is for me to let go" He said his voice husky "Then I'll do it" He finished hoarsely.

She stared at him in surprise and wanted to say something but he picked up his bag and left before she could even blink.

She buried her face in her hands and cried not knowing that Edward stood out the door wishing he could run back in but knowing he couldn't.

He could feel the hot salty tears pour down his face before he even tasted them and he knew that even if he wanted her to take it all back he couldn't blame her. He just wished things were different he really did.

_We were young & times were easy,  
but I could see it's not the same._

He walked down the hallway his eyes on the floor his head hung low as he tried to think of anything he might've done wrong. He knew he loved her and he was sure she loved him. But there was something about the way she said it that was wrong. Distance wasn't the reason she was letting him go. He could feel it in his bones. He looked up and noticed he was outside her window.

He kicked a pebble and watched as it rolled across the floor pathetically. He stared at her sleeping form and noticed the tear stains on her cheeks.

_I'm standing here but you don't see me,  
I'd give it all for that to change._

He could tell that she was in pain too. His legs fought him to jump through that window crush her to him and never let her go. And tell her that everything would be alright. His hands reached forward and twitched as he fought to get them back down. To get them used to the fact that he would never feel her hands again.

_And I don't want to lose her,  
I don't want to let her go._

He sighed as he ran his hands though his hair. He gave her one last look of longing and trudged back to his friend's room where he would try to get some sleep. But as he walked away he knew that a part of him was left behind. The most important part of him she still had and she always would.

She woke up startled as she breathed deeply trying to shake the nightmare away. She focused on regulating her breathing and then decided she wouldn't be able to get in sleep. She changed into some sweats and a large t-shirt. As she slipped the t-shirt on she inhaled it. It smelled just like Edward. She shook the thoughts away and grinded her lips together to keep from crying.

She knew she was doing the right thing but why did it feel so wrong. She went outside and inhaled the crisp fresh air as she started to jog along the path. She felt her body relax but her mind couldn't. It was running a million miles a minute. She knew she wasn't supposed to exert too much effort and this was pushing it. But she didn't care. She needed a distraction. Anything would work.

She stopped as she put her hands to her chest and caught her breath. Suddenly she heard lightning. She looked up and felt the first drop of rain hit her face.

Instead of running she stopped and closed her eyes and relished the feeling of the water running down her face. She opened her eyes and wished that Edward was there. She looked to her left and she nearly jumped when she was met with Edward's eyes. He was also jogging but he had stopped a few feet away from her.

She kept her legs glued to the ground because she knew that if she moved an inch she would run to him and through herself into his arms. She met his gaze hoping to see all love for her but all she saw instead of the bright emerald eyes she loved so much was a vacant almost dead gaze. He took a step towards her and for a moment her heart leaped with joy at the thought of this not being over.

_Im standing out in the rain,  
i need to know if its over,  
cause I will leave you alone._

Instead of running towards her like her heart had hoped he took a step back and turned around and jogged in the other direction the rain still pouring down. She hung her head down and bit her lip as she realized she shouldn't have hoped like that. Sure she was the one who ended it. But it was the last thing she wanted to do. And she was hoping he would ignore what she said and still be there for her.

But that's the great thing about Edward she thought sadly. He always respects people's wishes no matter how much it hurts him.

He took off jogging trying to focus despite his blurry gaze. He knew he would probably catch a cold if he didn't stop soon but he didn't care. A cold was the last thing on his mind now as he kept replaying the image of her over and over in his mind. He stopped running and just buried his face in his hands as he let the pain spread through his body. He felt the searing pain rip his heart out as he cried for what never was.

_flooded with all this pain,  
knowing that i'll never hold her,  
like i did before the storm_

He looked up and wiped away the tears with the back of his hand. It had stopped drizzling so hard but it was still raining. His lips parted slightly as he felt the cool water run down his throat. He saw a single flash of lightning and sighed as he got up and continued his jog.

_and with every strike of lightning_

She reached her room and sighed deeply as she unlocked her door and walked inside the dark dreary room. She flipped on the switch and walked over to the bed. She was careful to keep her eyes to the floor not wanting her eyes to land on anything that might bring back memories. As she took off her t-shirt and swung it aside her fingers landed on a chain that was around her neck.

The tears immediately sprung to her eyes as she carefully fingered the locket he had gotten her. It had their picture inside. She carefully unclasped the hook and stared at it as it landed on her lap. She opened it gently and she couldn't help the small smile as she remembered the picture. It was a few weeks ago. And they were both making silly faces at the camera. Her fingers grazed the initials that she loved to read so much _"To Bella the light of my life my one and only love"_

_comes a memory that lasts_

A thought crossed both their minds at the same time as they both looked out the window as the thunder rumbled and crashed. They were both glad that nothing was left unsaid. Because even when they fought they were completely honest with each other. There were no regrets about words that were left unsaid because there simply weren't any.

_**not a word is left unspoken as the thunder starts to crash**_

She wiped away the tears and put the locket back around her neck as she looked around the now empty room. She didn't even know why she was going to the hospital. These were her last few days. She knew it and so did her mum. She should spend them enjoying everything one last time instead of trying futilely to be cured. She knew there wasn't anything anyone could to save her now. It was too late. And she was ok with it. She had finally come to terms with that fact that she was going to die and that nothing and no one could save her. She only hoped that Edward could one day forgive her.

_Maybe I should give up_

She walked back from the store as she kicked the pebbles on her way. It was raining again somehow the weather matched her mood she thought miserably as she thought back to the past two days. Things hadn't gotten better with Edward. He hadn't spoken to her or even tried. He just gave her a small attempt at a smile even in the classes they sat together. She knew he was hurting. It was after all her fault. He tried to act normally around her but she knew it wasn't possible. She tried to talk to him still and keep the conversation flowing despite her agony but really…..How can one act normal around the love of their life after they had rejected them? She knew it wasn't doable. She wouldn't even blame him if he hated her.

_I'm standing out in the rain,  
I need to know if it's over,  
cause I will leave you alone._

There was a moment in class when she accidentally brushed his arm. Their gaze met and for a transient moment she thought that he would beg her to get back together. After all the pain and torture she had been through she would've said yes without a second thought. But he tore his eyes away from hers and fixed his eyes ahead.

He groaned as he threw his pencil across the desk in frustration. He hadn't been able to focus on his homework at all. He had been sitting there for the past hour trying to make sense of the words but they were all jumbled up. All he could think about was the way Bella's eyes lit up when his gaze met hers. He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples as he stretched his legs. He got up and wandered towards the window as he spaced out. He noticed a small hooded figure walking alone in the rain. He rubbed his eyes thinking it was some sort of hallucination due to the lack of sleep but when his vision focused again the figure was still there. He peered closely and noticed it was Bella. Suddenly her head snapped up and her gaze met his.

_Flooded with all this pain,  
knowing that I'll never hold her,  
like I did before the storm_

She tore her gaze away from his as she hung her head low again. She couldn't allow herself any amount of hope. No matter how infinitesimal it was.

_Trying to keep the light from going in_

She looked up and saw Edward standing at the end of road his eyes darting around searching for something. His eyes finally met hers and he gave her a small smile.

He stopped about 3 feet ahead of me and they both noticed that it stopped raining and the sky was clearing up and the clouds were coming again.

_**and the clouds from ripping out my broken heart.  
We always say a heart is not whole without the one who gets you through the storm.**_

They both looked down and met each other's gaze. In that moment it was like time stopped. It didn't matter to her that today was her last day alive and that Edward probably hated her. It didn't matter to him that she pushed him away saying she needed space. They both needed each other now. So without second thought Edward walked over and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She stiffened at first but then slowly relaxed into his arms. She buried her face in his shirt as she inhaled his smell for the last time. He buried his face in her hair savoring the feeling of her warm petite body so close to his.

" Go back inside so you don't catch a cold" He whispered in her as she reluctantly pulled away. She stepped back and gaze him a small smile "Thank you" She whispered her eyes glazed over. He knew her words had a double meaning….thank you for hugging me one last time for giving me what I so desperately needed but couldn't admit….. So he just nodded and smiled at her as she walked away.

_**Standing out in the rain, knowing that it's really over- please don't leave me alone  
Flooded with all this pain, knowing that i'll never hold you, like I did before the storm**_

This time as they both walked away they knew in their heart that it really was over. No negotiating no contemplating that was it. It was the end of the line. They both wanted to turn back and beg the other not to leave them alone as it started raining again but they both knew that being in each other's embrace that one last time was just perfect. And maybe it really was time to part and go their separate ways no longing and no resentment. And even though they'd never be able to hold each other again they had their memories the great times before the storm.

_**Like I did before the storm**_

**An: **Hey guys so I know it's sad and y'all probably hate me right now for breaking them up but hey life can't always have a happy ending. I wanted something bittersweet and I just love this song it's been stuck in my head for a while. Oh and the song is before the storm by the Jonas brothers ft Miley Cyrus. Hope you liked it yuya! And happy birthday sweete…..:D


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